Feeling really fucking lonely. Whenever you’re at work i feel so lonely & I just want you to come home, but then you do & you ignore me & it makes me feel like shit. I feel clingy & desperate & fuck that you’re supposed to love me for eternity but now you say you’re leaving at the end of the month to move in with him. & when you first said it i didn’t really believe you, but you’ve packed half your things & you talked to your boss about transferring. & you say you still love me & that we can still be together but that you need to leave to make something of yourself. Half of me wants to cling desperately to you, & the other half just wants you gone already if my life has to dissolve into this haze of confusion like it has for the past few weeks. You say you love me, but you always hesitate & i can hear the words from that fight we had echo in my head when you told me that you didn’t love me. That you never had. That you didn’t have the capacity because of your age. when did you get so bitter at me? When did you start fucking me, instead of making of love? Maybe i’ve been drinking but hell. i don’t care. You used to say i was cute when i was drunk. you never say things like that anymore. because we don’t talk anymore. & we don’t eat dinner together. You spend all of your time with him. & now you’re leaving me for him. You won’t call it that. You’ll never admit it. & maybe it’s just a deep emotional attachment that you have to him, but you no longer have that attachment to me. When I said forever i meant it. I thought you did to.